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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

"You Know When It's Real."

Maybe it's okay to post about my real life considering no one actually reads my blog anyway.

But real life is complex.

It involves real people, with their own real lives and their own real privacy that I'm not willing to violate.  I can write in a journal with all my deepest darkest feelings pouring onto the page.  Future readers might think I'm melodramatic, or they might cry with me.  Of course, under the condition that someone might actually read it.  And in all likelihood, no one will.  TLDR.

But as a kid, I had the tiniest hope that if I died early, someone would pick up my journal and suddenly really genuinely care about what I was feeling at that moment.  Something that even to this day is terribly rare in my life.  I had to learn, in order to cope with life, that people will never understand your deepest darkest innermost feelings, and I later learned that it's okay. But something that I've always wanted people to understand is that something I've always wanted was to know someone completely. And in knowing them, they, too, would know me.  Platonic or romantic.

In this quest you'll find that people are usually very busy.
Too busy, in fact, to understand the importance of understanding.
The importance of empathy. 

How comforting it is to tell someone everything you've ever needed to say without having to worry about how the other person feels.  Interconnectedness in its most complete form.  It's the most warming sensation to be able to trust someone completely.

But at the same time, people are scared of it because it forces you into a realm of vulnerability.  How can I trust someone with everything I am? 

Well that's life.  All great thing have to come at some sort of sacrifice.
Even if doesn't last a lifetime, it's totally worth fighting for.

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